Sorry About It

This is my first time blogging in weeks. I probably tell myself five plus times a day, “You should write more!” “Make it a habit to write every single day!” Do I do it? No. Why is that, I wonder. The last several months have been full of so much for me, though it doesn’t seem like it from the outside. I’m being seemingly downloaded with tons of information and I’ve been a conduit for so much. I spend a lot of my time alone in the quite, but still, my internal struggle rages on – as a walk a pathway toward inner peace, gliding along with more grace with each passing day. I guess maybe it’s been a time of receiving for me, though I’ve continued to serve others through my gifts. But I’ve grown restless, and now it’s time to level up. It’s time to take all that I’ve been learning and put it into play. “Wisdom is Knowledge applied!” Indeed.



Oracle Reading for 2.6.2012

The Horse King has ridden up to us atop his noble steed and brought with him lessons of assistance and control.

When you charge forward with your dreams and goals and you trust that you are working in accordance with Divine will, you are free to express and create in your own unique way. This entity has come to teach us that while we’re striving for the life we desire to live, we don’t have to do it all on our own. Be discerning about who you allow into your circle, but when you find that a person has genuinely been placed on your path, be open to receiving the help! We are not meant to carry and do everything on our own, but so many people take on the attitude of “I don’t need help” and while one can be convinced of it and try to play the hero,  it’s just not very smart. Granted, the work may still get done, but at what expense? Exhaustion? Burnout? Stress? Health problems? Don’t live in fear and think that you must control everything. It will, without a doubt, hurt you and the people around you, because no one is meant to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders alone. No matter if what you’re dealing with is spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, or if we’re talking about a business or a creative venture – with anything in life – EASE UP ON THE REIGNS! Whether you need to “Let go and let God” and let the Divine lead you, or if you need to delegate some responsibilities to other friends, family members, or employees – DO IT! If someone offers help, don’t be so proud that you cannot accept what has clearly presented itself as a gift to you. The Horse King embodies the assistance that can gallop into our lives and help us, but only if we humble ourselves and hop on the back.

I hope you enjoyed today’s weekly Oracle reading – stay tuned for more!

Blessed Be



Excerpts & Insights from Chapter 11 Nobody Puts Crack Baby in a Corner


“After all the bad run-ins in Sacramento and the taunting at school, I had vowed to never, ever like or date a black boy. I had convinced myself that they were all terrible and not worth my time, but he was different, and he liked me back. Once he and I locked in on each other, summer school became less about passing art class, and more about learning the art of love. We were high school kids, so naturally our courting consisted of making fun of each other and embarrassing one another in front of the class, only to exchange googly eyes and smirks. We ate lunch together occasionally and we talked before or after school, but we weren’t attached at the hip or anything. We never officially dated that summer, but we crushed on each other something fierce. I thought about him obsessively and my journals from that time are full of dreamy entries and poetic love declarations to him.


Every time I see you

my blood runs cold,

and then gets too hot,

and my heart just stops,

then beats really fast,

until I just can’t breathe,

and my eyes can’t see.

But, somehow, I’m still watching

the world walk towards me.

My brain is working overtime,

in overdrive,

in hyper speed,

going so fast that I can’t think or speak,

and I have so very much to say.

I’m all caught up in you,

in complete disarray.

Do you see anything

that’s going on inside me?

No. But, you know.

And do you know how it is that you do?

You feel the same thing,

because it’s happening to you too.

For Marcus


At certain points in my life I was very much like an old white supremacist trapped in a young black girl’s body. I had a certain disdain for black people, black boys and men especially. The experiences I’d had with them were mostly frightening, lewd, and disrespectful, and for me that meant that giving my time or my body to “one of them” would never be an option. Luckily I’ve done quite a bit of growing up, and I realize that not all black men are like the ones I ran into back then. I’ve since abandoned that way of thinking (thank heavens) but it still stands that a man, black, white, or purple, has to approach me with a level of respect for me to even bat an eyelash at him. Even as a young adult I hesitated to go to certain places or even particular cities because of how a majority of the black men act in those areas. I often hear stories of black women being hooted and hollered at by black men in the streets. When the women don’t react “accordingly”, they’re hit with a barrage of “fuck you bitch”s and “you ain’t cute noway”s. I had way too many of those experiences, and it certainly left it’s mark on me. Today, I’ve seen and met some outstanding black men, so I let them be the example I choose to look to when I think of what a black man is.


Five Mistakes People Make Concerning the Divine – Part 1

The following is the first on a list of personal philosophies I wrote about early on in 2011. I hadn’t been “awake” for all that long but I had experienced quite the spurt, and I had so much to say! The piece is entitled “Five Mistakes People Make Concerning the Divine”. All that I wrote about still rings true for me, but having become more deeply committed to personal spiritual growth and development, I’ve found that my understanding of everything I wrote about has changed in terms of an ever widening scope of perception. I’m going to be taking time over the next few weeks to revisit each point and expound upon the subject matter and to interrelate the material with personal experiences. I anticipate the list growing as I continue to grow myself.

“1) Creating God in the image of Man

Humanity has turned its back on the true nature of God, and so, when we look at the world and the devastation that abounds here some become angry with Him. Furthermore, some people say that He cannot possibly exist because, if He did, the world would not be this way. As it stands today, humankind has chosen to let evil and darkness reign, and that is not God’s fault – free will, remember? The world is not necessarily overrun by people who choose evil, rather, the world is full of people who sit idly by and do nothing because they are either too scared, too weak, or they really believe that it’s not their concern, but God’s! Sins of omission are far greater than sins of commission; don’t be fooled. Since a majority of people place human limitations on God, they see the fate of the world as his doing or his neglect when really, WE are culpable, because we were given charge over the Earth, and this is what we’ve allowed it to come to. Stop lying on God! The truth of the matter is this: God is the father of all things. He is not a genie in a bottle, nor is he a superhero. As a father, he made the provisions we needed – giving the Earth form, giving us the elements and the seasons, nature and ever present natural resources, plant and animal life, each other, judgment and punishment for the wicked, and most importantly – His love, protection, provisions, and guidance. The Earth, in the beginning, was the definition of abundance! We had it all, because he gave it to us. We’ve squandered it, like rich brats, and now we’re mad that daddy won’t bail us out of a major screw up.

What would the world be like if, instead of thinking that God is made in his image, every man understood that he is made in the image of God? What if EVERY man knew that his purpose was to provide for, protect, and guide his family? Marinate on that.”

It’s been a really long time since I read this last and reading it now makes me grind my teeth at how fundamentalist it sounds when this part is read all by itself. At the time I was trying to decipher for myself what the nature of God was. The rest of the list will reveal more of what I’ve come to grasp, so don’t get shifty with me just yet and shrug me off as some crazy Christian. I certainly am crazy, but my faith and spirituality is not marginalized into one set of beliefs or labels, so chill.

Moving on – I still very much believe that God is the father of all things and that His masculine energy plays a specific role in the creation and development of all that we know and see. I now know God to be the masculine half of the mind of The All. The All itself is the raw energy field from which EVERYTHING springs forth. The “roles” come into play with The Law of Gender, which states that everything that exists has a feminine and/or a masculine aspect. That law is what allows for recreation aka reproduction of any living thing. In retrospect, I’ve learned that there are many gods (and goddesses) but that there is only one Source – so when I speak of Father God and Mother Goddess, or The All, I’m speaking of that source energy. The All is ALL POWERFUL and ALL KNOWING but that does not mean that whatever we define the Divine to be is required to be ALL UP IN OUR BUSINESS. We have great power, and with great power comes great responsibility.

The Law of Polarity tells us that to each there is an opposite and that the poles of the opposites exist on a scale for which there is a pendulum. Energy vibrations determine which end of the spectrum one thrives on and what kinds of outcomes we will manifest, both individually and collectively. With all of that being said, understanding those laws and principles has truly helped me understand the concept of “free will” and to crystallize my thoughts on whether or not it truly exists.

In the midst of our many spiritual discussions, my twin flame has talked about a principle he lives by called “power under control”. He would oft refer to the phrase during our talks about humility and submission. The bulb had been flickering but it didn’t really light up until I came to understand polarity, vibration, and principles of magic, all of which have taught me this – Source is raw, supreme, unmatched power that governs all law, that IS all law. We are made in the likeness of Source and are expressions of it (Oneness) and so, by means of our vibrations, we have the power to manifest – for better or for worse. That’s where free will comes into play, because we CHOOSE what we manifest through the vibrations we entertain and the energy we feed off of. This became especially applicable when I became interested in divination and witchcraft. People fear what they don’t understand, and so people who don’t understand witchcraft fear it, call it “evil”, and label people who practice it the same. What I learned is that witchcraft, magic, divination, or what have you is not evil nor is it good – it just IS. A person’s means and motivation are what distinguishes “good” from “evil”, not the practice itself. People who practice magic manifest what is in their hearts, and that logic applies in the grand scheme of things as well. In terms of the world at large and what we see regarding violence, disease, and poverty, etc – this is not God’s work, nor does it speak the absence of God – this is what the human race has consciously manifested through living on planes of lower vibration and by regurgitating negative energy. The kicker here is that, just like I said in the original piece, most people aren’t terrible, evil beings, rather, they are unawake and unaware of their importance within the whole.

Regarding the masculine traits and principles I mentioned in the quote, my vision of those aspects has magnified as well. From the atom to the Earth, solid foundations and elements of provision remain masculine and continue to influence how I perceive men in the physical realm – they are designed to be providers of solid foundations and protectors of their family and home, that is their nature. I notice how I originally chose my words to imply that all we see and know is because “He did/gave it” and at this point in my evolution I realize how important it is to give the glory to both the masculine and the feminine aspects of Source, because they cannot operate separately. They serve different purposes, but they are equally and greatly important. Stay tuned for the second item on the list to read more about God’s “other half”!


Blessed Be.