“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” – Nelson Mandela
I used to think sayings like that were complete crap. Why would someone fear success or be afraid of living out their dreams? Well, now that I’ve got some years on me and some wisdom under my belt, I can see exactly why what the great teacher said was true.
I’m sitting here blogging because I’m dragging my knuckles again with finishing this book project and publishing it for the world to see. I want this so bad – to live my life as a successful author – to manifest my other career and life goals – to walk through this door that has been opened for me – but it’s scary. I try to remain positive and sure about myself, but I have days when I’m near tears because I’m afraid that my book isn’t good enough or that people won’t respond well to it, or at all. I have to remind myself of my passion and my gift for writing. I have to shake myself and remember the words of the people who have believed in me and what I can do, who are taken by my story and what to hear more. I think about the means and support that have been provided for me in order to do this. I have to remember the brilliance, the realness, and the strength in this story – and in me.
I haven’t lived the life I’ve lived and survived attempting to end my own life just to NOT be successful in my endeavors – now THAT would be crap! So, I will forge ahead with a warriors spirit, knowing that what I’ve done is not just about me and my sometimes fickle feelings. It’s about the story that needs to be told and the lives that can be changed because of what I have to say. Yes, lil ole me.
A great friend and teacher of mine once said to me, “Don’t give up five minutes before the miracle!” I understood what he meant when he said it, but it’s never meant more than it does now.
At just under 300 pages, I’m supposed to get cold feet NOW?!?!? “NOT I!” said the Dava.