I opened the blinds near my workspace to let some sunlight in one morning and drew in a huge gasp as I took in the largeness of the spider that had made a home for itself outside my window. I had never seen one that big in real life. I’ve been terrified of them ever since one crawled up my nose when I was four. I’d stomped, smashed, and washed away many. I did not yet have the wisdom and understanding I have now, so, I wanted it gone – dead even. But I wasn’t going to go handle it and my Other Half, as big and tall as he is, was not going to do it either. So, it stayed there.
It gave me the willies and I kept the blinds closed for days. It wasn’t a thick spider but it spanned very wide, colored black with alternating patterns of fresh grass green. I would get curious from time to time and peek at it. Fear subsided a little bit when I realized that it was out there and that I was in here. I could easily see it from the window but I couldn’t see the web very well. I thought it had to have been pretty immaculate to house such a big creature. I went outside and quickly walked to the complete other side of the deck. I was more than fine with being a distant onlooker. It really was a big web, and there were about ten babies in there. “It” instantly became a “she”, and my desire for her to go away dissolved into thin air.
When the rain started pouring down later that day, I immediately ran to the window, dreading that she and her babies had been drowned out and blown away. But no, there they were. She had spun her web in a very strategic location in the corner, made by the part of the deck that came right up against the house, next to my window. The water seemed to hit and drip down every other spot but where they were dwelling. Their web was unmoved by the winds.
I was missing my daughter like crazy. Still in the middle of a heated custody battle, trying to maintain focus on my goals, and on doing what was best for her, I learned a deeply powerful lesson from gazing upon that spider on a rainy day. Just like her, I was weathering storms and doing what I had to do to protect and care for my baby. I learned an incredible lesson in Oneness.
From the greatest to the smallest of life forms, we are All governed by the same Universal and Divine Laws. It is a woman’s Divine Right and duty to defend and protect her offspring, by any means necessary. Sometimes protecting our children requires the ability to see different options and plan and execute a strategy. This is what the She Spider taught me.
I put my fears aside and opened up to the Wisdom she had come to give. She may have been terrifying, but she was a mother too.
As a present and Awakened Being, I have learned to love and respect the spider.
Representing the ability to see life’s situations and experiences from many perspectives, making strong connections, and being a weaver and creatrix of reality, the eight legged freak has become a great teacher and a welcomed friend on my personal animal totem. The lessons I’ve learned through studying and observing the spider have served me well and will continue to help me consciously create and manifest the life I desire.
Namaste and Blessed Be.